Let the Fun Begin!!!

Snips and snails and puppy dog tails. I’m not sure what a snip is but a snail is a lot like a slug that leaves a trail of slime wherever it goes. Gross! That’s what boys are made of? And I have two?!
I don’t know much about boys except that I liked them a lot from about the fourth grade on up. One of my co-workers stopped me as I walked into school one day, “Melissa, you are such a good writer. You should write a book about puberty…for boys. I just can't find anything.” I am not certain what happened to ME during puberty much less any boy. My co-worker continued to discuss hair under the arm and wet dreams to which I exclaimed, “Wet what????”
Now I had something new to brace myself for. I am raising two boys and no one gave me an owner’s manual. I am a girl, a girly-girl. I like pink glittery stuff and am certain I should be wearing a tiara at all times. I never watched sports, was disgusted with dirt, and no one farted in my family, except the dog!
Flash forward to today and I am sitting in our office when our 4 year old sticks his butt in and lets one rip then announces for his brother to come smell his butt. What happened? I was supposed to have a girl. Instead of army men and Matchbox cars, I was supposed to be stepping on Barbie dolls and barrettes. No one prepared me for this and I can’t say I was too happy when the ultra-sound technician flatly announced that I was going to have my second boy. At the next possible chance, I asked her if I could leave to relieve myself of all the water they made me drink. I stepped into the bathroom and sobbed. This was it. No girl in my future. Period. Done. I decided I didn’t have time to wallow in my sadness. I cleaned my face up and stepped back into the ultra-sound room. Because of the darkness, I don’t think anyone noticed my blotchy face.
I wallowed to myself for almost two months. For Halloween, another co-worker brought her granddaughter in to show off her costume. The girl was a vision…beautiful, blond hair, big blue eyes, fair skin, sweet as pie. She was dressed as Dorothy from Wizard of Oz. I remember how her hair was in two neat braids and her red shoes just twinkled. I held myself together for the rest of the school day and tried to reason how ridiculous it was to be upset about not having a girl. I was afraid that if I let myself be upset, God would punish me and give my boy a serious defect. It was strange though. After school I did not pick up my oldest boy from daycare. I went home. I just sat staring out the window then picked up the phone and called my neighbor with three boys. She was busy but I blurted, “I’m having another boy!” She said she understood. She explained that she still has days where she cries over not having the pink bedroom and her oldest boy was 10.
I also kept it from people at work. I was afraid if I uttered the words, “I’m having another boy,” the tears would come with it. So I said nothing for a long time. Finally, my principal asked, “So, have you found out what you’re having yet?” Already emotional from just being pregnant, and then the news of having a boy caused the tears. My eyes welled up and I said, “It’s a boy.” I tried to sound chipper but it was evident I was not happy. He quickly put an arm around and then proceeded to tell our guidance counselor and one of the older teachers, both of whom have two boys. I was assured by both that, although they too had wanted at least one girl, boys were a joy to raise. We’ll see…..