Raising Boys Made Easy!!!!

I Googled “How to raise boys” the other day since I clearly have no clue what I’m doing. The tips were the same ones about boys having more testosterone blah blah blah. So, I Googled “How to take care of a dog” and found some really helpful tips. I copied and pasted them right here on my own blog. It is not plagiarism since I changed the word “dog” for “boy.” See for yourself. Raising boys made easy….

Dogs (boys) are very fun and loving companions. But besides being great companions, dogs (boys) are a lot of work. Unlike cats, a dog (boy) needs a lot of love and a great amount of attention and exercise. Caring for a dog (boy) is hard work but along with hard work comes a lot of love. (So true! Hard work and lots of love!)

Grooming

Look out for bumps, hot spots, inflammation, irritation, vegetative matter, and parasites like fleas and ticks in his coat. Get rid of fleas by using a fine-toothed comb while ticks can be tweezed off. Brushing doesn't only remove mats, it also takes away dead hair, thus eliminating animal odor. (Love that part! There really is an animal odor!! AMAZING how this relates!)

A dog's (boy’s) teeth are very important and care is required to keep them healthy. Dental hygiene is maintained by using dog (human) toothpaste and toothbrush with soft bristles twice a week. (If we are lucky, he might brush his teeth twice a week!)

Exercise

Puppies (young boys) require daily exercise for proper muscle development. Their high energy levels need to be released in some form of constructive activity, and giving them their daily exercise is the best way to do it. Not being able to release their pent-up energy can lead to destructive behavior such as chewing or digging. (OH MY GOSH! This is spot on! We have a big hole in the back yard and someone was obviously gnawing on the remote control. More daily exercise is the answer!)

Washing

Different breeds (boys) require varying bath frequency. Soak your pet (boy) in warm water. Apply a pet (boy) shampoo in small amounts. Target areas are the eyes, ears, rectum, toes and under the chin. Avoid getting soapy water in his eyes and ears. (Soaking is key here!)

Training

Teach your dog (boy) some basic commands so you can easily control them. Teaching dogs (boys) is a rewarding experience. Don't get too carried away with the fancy tricks, your dog (boy) might not remember the most important ones like:

o Sit

o Stay

o Lie Down

o Fetch

(Too late, they already forgot! Are they ever easy to control?)

There are four bikes and one baseball mitt in the driveway, two abandoned bouncy balls in the bushes, eight pairs of shoes blocking the front door, countless legos strewn about, and six boys watching Ghostbusters in the basement. I love it!!!

I love it and seriously never thought we would get to this point. Up until very recently (and still occasionally) the boys and their guests played inside the house just like they played outside. They ran and played tag, threw balls and other objects at each other, jumped off furniture, yelling and screaming, etc. Now, they are just sitting, nicely(albeit touching themselves) watching a movie. YEAH!

Summer Games Just for Boys!!!

I caught a glimpse of the neighbor boy, also named Kyle, with a helmet on...in our front yard...with my boys. Upon closer inspection, I was informed they were playing, "Throw the Bat." Oh, THAT game! Sure, as a young girl, I played that all the time...NOT!

Boys come up with the strangest games...

• Dig Large Hole in the Backyard for a Booby Trap. (To capture neighbor girls!)


• Hammer and Nails. (I can't believe the neighbors allow their kids to even come to my house!)


• Squirt Your Friend with a Hose When it is Only 65 Degrees! (Fun for everyone!)


• Throw the Baseball OVER the Two Story House. (Drive mom, who is inside, nuts as the ball rolls down the other side, over and over again.)


• Run Around, Chasing Your Friends, with Large Sticks.


• McDonald's Drive Thru Window with the Mailbox. (I actually approve of, and like to join in on, this game!)


• Ride Your Bike/Superhero. (Basically, ride your bike around with your, too small Spider man costume, an old Bulldogs Football helmet, and possibly cowboy boots on!)

I am not sure if these are the "actual" names for these games. There seem to be only two objects of boy's games, create the possibility of real danger (players must try to avoid getting their eyes poked out or breaking any windows) and try to not get caught by the parents.

YES! MICHIGAN

Every summer I take the boys up to Michigan, to spend some quality time with Grandma and Grandpa. I drop them off and squeal out of the driveway, laughing like The Joker!!
On the four-hour drive up, I usually have the boys bring their video games and some books to entertain them. Kyle brought his World Records book. From the front seat, over the sound of the radio, I overheard Carson sharing items from the book with Kyle. He said, “Kyle, look at her boobs. They’re big and chunky.” Carson then broke into song…”Big and Chun-ky, Round and Fun-ky!” I vowed, right then and there to no longer listen to rap music when the boys are in the car!

One Sock

“You’ve only got one sock on,” I pronounced the other morning. Kyle looked at me with one eye still partially closed and said, “I know.” The “I know” was said with a small amount of “duh-ness” so I tried to let it go. Kyle sat on the sofa and began watching Spongebob or something with Carson, still wearing only one sock.

So I sat, took a couple of sips of my coffee and tried to come up with a good reason he may be wearing only one sock. Perhaps one sock came off while he was sleeping. But, wouldn’t most people just take off the other sock when they got out of bed? Maybe Kyle was trying to come up with a new style. With all the Michael Jackson, one glove stuff going on….

I continued to sit, drink my coffee, and watch the one sock. For me, everything has to be equal. For example, you can’t rub one foot without rubbing the other. It feels…off balance. Life is upset by the nature of the inequity and must be righted. Kyle, obviously, does not share my obsession. He continued to sit, mindlessly unaffected by the disruption in my universe caused by wearing only one sock.

Finally, I could stand it no more, “Why….why are you only wearing one sock?” His answer, “I couldn’t find another one in my drawer.”

Welcome

Welcome to any new readers!!

I am so excited to have you here. I love sharing the stories of my family's crazy days. Raising two boys was an unexpected turn in the road for me. The detour has been quite scenic, to say the least! To fully understand where this blog originates from, it may be important to read my very first entry...Let the Fun Begin. Click here to read it...
http://busybee1027.blogspot.com/2009/06/let-fun-begin.html

Please also check out some of my other favorite entries (just click on the links):

• Boyz in Da House http://busybee1027.blogspot.com/2009/07/boyz-in-da-house.html
• What to Expect When You are Expecting a Boy http://busybee1027.blogspot.com/2009/06/what-to-expect-when-you-are-expectinga.html
• One Question at a Time...Please http://busybee1027.blogspot.com/2009/06/one-question-at-time-please.html
• Thank Heaven for Little Boys and Joys http://busybee1027.blogspot.com/2009/06/thank-heaven-for-little-boysand-joys.html

Returning readers, what was your favorite posting so far?? Let me know in the comment section.

Please put me in your favorites and visit me often. Also, please feel free to share. I LOVE to hear your stories as well. Thanks so much to everyone!
Enjoy,
Melissa

Steps to Manhood!

As I woman, I am going to admit that we (all woman) know what men do. They pretend they DON’T know how to do something just so they can get out of doing it. My dad is a great example (sorry Dad!) He pretends he doesn’t know how to turn on the dishwasher. He fills it and empties it. But claims he had no idea how to turn it on. I don’t know why we go along with the charade because he is clearly a brilliant man. This is a man who can take a 57 Chevy apart and put it back together again. The dishwasher is not rocket science.

So, with that prefaced, Scott, the boys and I sat down for a VERY informal little lunch yesterday. Along with sandwiches and drinks, I just put three bags of assorted “chips” on the table. This is a timeline of what followed:
1. Carson said he wanted the Cheetos.
2. Scott handed him the bag.
3. Carson looked at it like it was a foreign object.
4. Scott told him to open the bag.
5. Carson acted stupid and tried to dump the contents of the bag without unfolding the top.
6. Scott unfolded the top and opened the bag, nice and wide, for Carson to reach in and get the desired amount of Cheetos.
7. Carson proceeded to grab the bag by the bottom. This indicated he would have the entire contents of the bag on his plate.
8. Scott stopped him, “Just reach in, buddy, and grab what you want.” (This was funny because Scott was “showing” Carson how to grab food out of a bag.)
9. Again, Carson grabs the bag by the bottom to dump.
10. Finally frustrated, Scott just grabbed a handful of Cheetos and put them on Carson’s plate for him.

It was a first step toward manhood for Carson. It was something he really didn’t want to do himself (probably because his hand would emerge from the bag with orange powder on it!) I believe learning to grab objects was something learned in those first 8 months of life or so. He quickly and cleverly learned that if he pretends he doesn’t know how to do something, it will be done FOR him! Way to go Little Man!

SMILE!

Have you ever tried to give a cat a bath? Ever wrestled an alligator? If you are a mother of boys, you know this is exactly how it feels when trying to get them to take a shower or brush their teeth. I’m not sure why there is such an adversity to cleanliness. I love it when I tell Carson to brush his teeth and he says, “Awwww! I just brushed them yesterday!”

If I don’t tell them to brush their teeth or shower, they won’t. Our routines were off this past week because we were out of town. One of the boys smiled at me on Friday and I swear I could see green! I immediately told both boys to get into the bathroom and brush their teeth because I couldn’t remember the last time I told them to do so. Carson proudly remembered, “It was Tuesday!!!” (That’s three days!)

Well, we went to the dentist today. Shockingly, NO ONE HAD ANY CAVITIES!! How can I defend myself when I tell them that if they don’t brush their teeth, they will get cavities???? I have no proof! They have hard teeth AND heads!!

By the way, the dentist told the boys that they only needed to brush their teeth on the days they actually ate. She then told me all kids go through this but boys are much worse. She also assured me they would start being more concerned about fresh breath, hair gel, and half hour showers when they discover GIRLS…and then the problems really begin!

THEME SONGS FOR BOYS

Just a fun list of song titles that fit boys well!

I Touch Myself by the Ramones
I'm Into Something Good - Herman's Hermits
Born To Be Wild – Steppenwolf
I Fought The Law (and the Law Won) - Bobby Fuller Four
Maniac - Michael Sembell
The Good The Bad and the Ugly - Hugo Montenegro
Street Fighting Man - Rolling Stones
My Way - Frank Sinatra
Eat It - Weird Al Yankovic
Mama, I'm Coming Home - Ozzy Osbourne

Dog Days of Summer

The first time someone told me I had to get a dog was, I believe, when I was pregnant with Carson, “Two boys!!! Now you’ll just need a dog.” I’ve heard it many times since, “Every boy needs a dog!” We already have two cats and two fish and I am the ONLY one who feeds any of them. I understand, boys can’t play with a fish, but I have seen them playing hide and seek with our one cat, Daphney, (she hides in a panicked state while they run around looking for her) and holding the other cat, Cali (by the neck or tail!).

I’ve almost succumbed to the pressures of getting a dog, even checking out the cute little buggers online and at a local store. Puppies are almost impossible to resist. I once heard, or read, that God gives us our children as babies because if He gave them to us as teenagers, we’d give them back. Dogs are the same way. You fall in love with them when they are cute little puppies. Then, when they "have an accident" on your floor, it’s just a little one and who could be mad at THOSE eyes!

Dogs do seem to be an effort, though. I just got two boys pretty well trained and don’t feel like training a puppy. Plus, there’s the guilt-factor. We aren’t home a lot during the school year so the pup would be home alone much of the time. Isn’t there enough guilt over just being a mother??

In an effort to continually resist the pressures of purchasing a pup, I offered to have Kyle and Carson dog-sit while my sister-in-law was out of town. The dog, Allie, is really sweet, blind and diabetic, but sweet as pie. She is an unbelievably easy dog to take care of. Kyle has been very good about leading her down the deck stairs, and back up again. He took her for a walk and I even heard him refilling her water bowl without being asked! He had told every neighbor that we now have a dog and invited all neighbor kids to see her. The other night, he took Allie’s bed and placed it next to his. Kyle was giddy at the prospect of having the pooch sleep next to him. Allie promptly lay down and both were asleep quickly. I have to admit, it did seem fitting to see the black lab sleeping on her little brown plaid bed, next to a boy’s bed, all among the baseball cards, matchbox cars, dinosaurs, etc.
But, the reality is, neither boy is willing to clean the yard without… 1. Gagging and 2. Asking for money. Carson wants a dog but really wants NOTHING to do with the maintenance. Kyle is willing to do some upkeep but will only retrieve dog doo-doo if he gets paid. I think, for now, we will just stick with our fish, Jesus and Chicken Nugget, and our tormented cats.

Sweet Allie with the boys!