I knew I hadn’t blogged in a while but it became very obvious when I sent out my email to my usual readers. One email was returned as a failure to reach recipient….my grandma, Milly…One of the BEST mothers of boys. She had three.
Within this past year, Milly’s health deteriorated. On Easter I received a call that she was in the hospital. It was no surprise. She’d been in and out a lot. Scott and I celebrated Easter with the boys a little bit but then went to visit Milly.
Everyone got to spend time with her, and at a few points in the day, we all sat together, in silence. Looking around the room, there were the three sweet men she’d raised with the help of my grandfather, Steve. Milly told me several times that Steve said he wanted "three mean boys." He got ‘em but they grew up to be three caring and gentle men. I’ve heard so many stories of the good times they had growing up…Camping, working on cars, playing sports, Boy Scouts, swimming, etc. Milly had also told me stories about the trouble those three boys would get into like wrestling on the living room floor, sneaking out of windows, and serious accidents. She never seemed to be given more than she could handle. This was proven when Milly even had to care for my dad all by herself while Steve served our country in World War II.
If all that were not enough, there are all the meals that needed to be cooked, all the laundry to be washed, and ONE BATHROOM to keep clean for three growing boys AND a former Marine. You would think all this would cause one to endure a mental breakdown or to consume large quantities of alcohol. Not Milly. She was one tough cookie and was sober the whole time!! (Not even a bottle of wine here or there!)
Once I asked Milly about what she liked best about raising boys. She stammered and said, “Well, they’re funny…and they were a lot of work and they got into a lot of stuff.” She was then interrupted by a nurse. I truly think she enjoyed the busy-ness that boys are.
About 15 years ago I gave Milly a book to fill in about her life called, “Grandmother Remembers.” She returned that book to me about 7 months before she died. It is full of wonderful memories, her thoughts, photos, handwritten notes, etc. One note is particularly revealing. It is a draft of something written in the book itself. It is full of memories, years subtracted from other years, cross-outs, and erasures. Raising three boys filled her life to rim with endless joys and memories. So many that they had become difficult for her to keep track of.
Another page in the book asked Milly what her wish for my future was. She wrote, “Good health, understanding and a caring husband and a girl (baby) that looks like you and a boy that looks like you and your husband.” Obviously she wrote this before I even met Scott and definitely before I had the boys. There are no regrets though. I got that caring husband and two mean boys. (No girl!) Two mean boys that will grow up to be sweet, caring men. They will help create all those wonderful memories that I won’t be able to keep track of. They will give me mental strength and grandchildren (hopefully a girl for God’s Sake!) and they will stick by me to the end just like Don, Rick, and Rob did for Milly.
*Milly was born on May 13, 1918 and died on Easter 2010. As a young girl she enjoyed baseball and met my grandfather at a game where he was playing. When Steve proposed to her, “He said he loved me but he made me promise I would let him go fishing and hunting whenever he wanted to. I promised,” Milly said. They had three boys, Donald, Richard, and Robert. They all enjoyed traveling and camping. Steve died shortly after he retired from Inland Steel. Milly lived to 91, had four grandchildren, and two great-grandchildren (that would be Kyle and Carson!)..and she loved the color purple!
Milly and Steve's Wedding Photo
Those three "mean" boys: Don, Rick, and Rob.
Milly with my "mean" boys, Kyle and Carson.
