Raising Boys Made Easy!!!!

I Googled “How to raise boys” the other day since I clearly have no clue what I’m doing. The tips were the same ones about boys having more testosterone blah blah blah. So, I Googled “How to take care of a dog” and found some really helpful tips. I copied and pasted them right here on my own blog. It is not plagiarism since I changed the word “dog” for “boy.” See for yourself. Raising boys made easy….

Dogs (boys) are very fun and loving companions. But besides being great companions, dogs (boys) are a lot of work. Unlike cats, a dog (boy) needs a lot of love and a great amount of attention and exercise. Caring for a dog (boy) is hard work but along with hard work comes a lot of love. (So true! Hard work and lots of love!)

Grooming

Look out for bumps, hot spots, inflammation, irritation, vegetative matter, and parasites like fleas and ticks in his coat. Get rid of fleas by using a fine-toothed comb while ticks can be tweezed off. Brushing doesn't only remove mats, it also takes away dead hair, thus eliminating animal odor. (Love that part! There really is an animal odor!! AMAZING how this relates!)

A dog's (boy’s) teeth are very important and care is required to keep them healthy. Dental hygiene is maintained by using dog (human) toothpaste and toothbrush with soft bristles twice a week. (If we are lucky, he might brush his teeth twice a week!)

Exercise

Puppies (young boys) require daily exercise for proper muscle development. Their high energy levels need to be released in some form of constructive activity, and giving them their daily exercise is the best way to do it. Not being able to release their pent-up energy can lead to destructive behavior such as chewing or digging. (OH MY GOSH! This is spot on! We have a big hole in the back yard and someone was obviously gnawing on the remote control. More daily exercise is the answer!)

Washing

Different breeds (boys) require varying bath frequency. Soak your pet (boy) in warm water. Apply a pet (boy) shampoo in small amounts. Target areas are the eyes, ears, rectum, toes and under the chin. Avoid getting soapy water in his eyes and ears. (Soaking is key here!)

Training

Teach your dog (boy) some basic commands so you can easily control them. Teaching dogs (boys) is a rewarding experience. Don't get too carried away with the fancy tricks, your dog (boy) might not remember the most important ones like:

o Sit

o Stay

o Lie Down

o Fetch

(Too late, they already forgot! Are they ever easy to control?)

There are four bikes and one baseball mitt in the driveway, two abandoned bouncy balls in the bushes, eight pairs of shoes blocking the front door, countless legos strewn about, and six boys watching Ghostbusters in the basement. I love it!!!

I love it and seriously never thought we would get to this point. Up until very recently (and still occasionally) the boys and their guests played inside the house just like they played outside. They ran and played tag, threw balls and other objects at each other, jumped off furniture, yelling and screaming, etc. Now, they are just sitting, nicely(albeit touching themselves) watching a movie. YEAH!

Summer Games Just for Boys!!!

I caught a glimpse of the neighbor boy, also named Kyle, with a helmet on...in our front yard...with my boys. Upon closer inspection, I was informed they were playing, "Throw the Bat." Oh, THAT game! Sure, as a young girl, I played that all the time...NOT!

Boys come up with the strangest games...

• Dig Large Hole in the Backyard for a Booby Trap. (To capture neighbor girls!)


• Hammer and Nails. (I can't believe the neighbors allow their kids to even come to my house!)


• Squirt Your Friend with a Hose When it is Only 65 Degrees! (Fun for everyone!)


• Throw the Baseball OVER the Two Story House. (Drive mom, who is inside, nuts as the ball rolls down the other side, over and over again.)


• Run Around, Chasing Your Friends, with Large Sticks.


• McDonald's Drive Thru Window with the Mailbox. (I actually approve of, and like to join in on, this game!)


• Ride Your Bike/Superhero. (Basically, ride your bike around with your, too small Spider man costume, an old Bulldogs Football helmet, and possibly cowboy boots on!)

I am not sure if these are the "actual" names for these games. There seem to be only two objects of boy's games, create the possibility of real danger (players must try to avoid getting their eyes poked out or breaking any windows) and try to not get caught by the parents.